if i were to have

"if i were to have" | Friday, May 30, 2003 | No. 1,703
pants: SOLD TO THE RAPE VICTIM IN THE PAJAMAS
deuce: OKAY GUYS HERE'S THE DEAL I DIDN'T RAPE THAT LITTLE BOY BUT IF I DID I WOULD BE REALLY SORRY
deuce: CAN I GO NOW
pants: I CAN GO HOME IF I TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM (AS IF THE BOY WAS STANDING HERE HIMSELF!!!!!!)
pants: SURELY YOU'LL LET ME OFF AS I HAVE A TINY PECKER







Tomorrow
"spooky font" starring spigot




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Est. 1998
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Cosmic forces (otherwise known as "bonghits") are at work here.
Jerkcity was not supposed to have continued through 2017.
It should be clear to all that mistakes were made somewhere.