would that it were so simple

"would that it were so simple" | Wednesday, January 4, 2017 | No. 6,525
pants: CLOSE ALL THE WINDOWS AND FILL THE HOUSE FULL OF SPURT
pants: SOME WILL LEAK OUT BUT THE SPURT WILL BE MANUFACTURED FASTER THAN THE LEAKAGE
deuce: SPURT LEVELS RISING AT VARYING RATES (SLOWLY, THEN FAST, THEN SLOWLY AGAIN)
pants: WOULD THAT IT WERE SO SIMPLE







Tomorrow
"empty seat" starring deuce and pants




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"Slurping and drooling and hurrrr."



Est. 1998
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Cosmic forces (otherwise known as "bonghits") are at work here.
Jerkcity was not supposed to have continued through 2017.
It should be clear to all that mistakes were made somewhere.