finally coming clean

"finally coming clean" | Monday, March 6, 2017 | No. 6,579
deuce: DID YOU KNOW URI GELLER IS A FRAUD???
deuce: AND THAT DOUSING DOESN'T ACTUALLY WORK????
deuce: HURRRRRRRRRRK SEIZURE
spigot: HIS WHOLE LIFE IN TIRELESS SERVICE TO AN AUDIENCE GOING *NO DOY*
spigot: MORE LIKE A-DURRRRRI GELLER
deuce: FINALLY COMING CLEAN:
deuce: I'M THE ONE WHO EMBEZZLED ALL THAT MONEY FROM THE JAMES RANDI FOUNDATION
spigot: WITH JUST YOUR MIND SO TECHNICALLY YOU'RE OWED THE $1MM
deuce: FUCK YES
spigot: THEY MIGHT EVEN OWE YOU SOME MONEY
spigot: LET ME CC: MY ACCOUNTANT
deuce: [FIRE TRUCK ARRIVES]







Tomorrow
hmmm




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"Slurping and drooling and hurrrr."



Est. 1998
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Cosmic forces (otherwise known as "bonghits") are at work here.
Jerkcity was not supposed to have continued through 2017.
It should be clear to all that mistakes were made somewhere.