BoneQuest No. 360

spigot: EVERY TIME I REACH INTO THE CAN THE PRINGLES ARE FARTHER AWAY ???
spigot: IS THIS SOME SORT OF QUANTUM TUBULAR PHENOMENON ?!?
spigot: MY FIST IS GETTING SQUISHED INTO SPAGHETTI HERE !!!
deuce: MOOSH IT ALL AROUND LIKE IT'S PASGHETTI
net: IT IS BEST TO TEAR THE CAN TO BITS RIGHT WHEN YOU OPEN IT
net: YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THEM ALL ANYWAY
spigot: IF I REACH DOWN DEEP ENOUGH I'LL BE BACK IN TIME BEFORE I EVEN OPENED THEM AND I WILL HAVE LOTS !!!
spigot: I HOPE I DON'T CUT MYSELF ON THE LID !!!
deuce: YOU ARE CLEARLY TRAVELLING FASTER THAN LIGHT !!!
spigot: WHAT IS THE NUMBER TO 911