BoneQuest No. 7326

pants: does your office have those fancy toilets that automatically flush for you
spigot: they do and they all have bidets which i kindly crank up to the coldest temps and the strongest jets
pants: do you also have that problem where you're inspecting your poo and the thing rudely flushes into your face
spigot: oops-dropped-my-phone is more of a problem when it falls into the sink because that faucet-auto-on happens immediately
pants: sometimes i'll be kneeing in front of the bowl looking over the contents when bam auto-flush
deuce: t pants permission to lick dick