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deuce: :BRAIN: WHAT IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING I COULD DO RIGHT NOW pants: KICKING GRANDMA IN THE HEAD pants: PULLING DOWN MY TROUSERS AND FIDDLING ABOUT pants: TAKING A SHIT IN THE BATHTUB AND PRETENDING THE SHIT IS A BOAT pants: SPRAYING URINE ON THE BANK TELLER pants: SUCKING OFF THE MAILMAN EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE NO LETTERS FOR ME TODAY pants: DRINKING TEQUILA AND UPDATING MY LINKEDIN PROFILE pants: OFFSETTING MY CARBON FOOTPRINT BY FIRING A GUN INTO THE CEILING deuce: BLOGGING ABOUT MIDDLE MANAGEMENT LIKE IT'S A THING TO BE PROUD OF