deuce: OW OW OW STRAIN SQUIRRRRP OH THANK GOD IT'S DONE OW OW OW OH GOD OH GOD THERE'S A SECOND STAGE

spigot: I'D LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS PORN VIDEO spigot: IT'S GOT NO JERKOFFABLE GIRLS spigot: OR HOWEVER YOU SAY IT spigot: I DON'T KNOW ALL THE LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO

atandt: I MUST SAY THE JERKABILITY OF THIS PLACE IS QUITE HIGH spigot: YOU AND YOUR COLLEGE MUMBO-JUMBO

spigot: HEY EVERYONE MUPPETS ARE ON spigot: AND BY "MUPPETS" I MEAN FAT DICKS

spigot: WILD ZOOMS AND PANS OF GEN-X KIDS AT THE FOOD COURT????? SHOWING OFF THEIR PIERCED TONGUES AND HIGH-FIVING EACH OTHER?????? HOLDING UP CORN DOGS, LARGE DRINKS????????? deuce: ALL BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED spigot: INTERSPERSED WITH SOMBER, BLACK/WHITE SEGMENTS WHERE THEY SIT ON STEPS AND TALK ABOUT SMOKING, DRUG ABUSE deuce: GLAGLGALG MURDER MOST CHOPPY

pants: MURDER deuce: SUICIDE pants: MURDER/SUICIDE deuce: WE HAVE A WINNER

deuce: ANY POST ON LINKEDIN CONSISTING OF SOMEONE HOLDING UP A WHITEBOARD/WHITE PLACARD WITH WRITING ON IT MAKES ME FEEL SORRY FOR THEM AND ALSO MAKES ME WANT TO MURDER THEM

spigot: every time matthew mcconaughey shouts murph he should follow it up with hurf and burf

pants: HELP I'M FLOATING THROUGH SPACE LIKE CEREBUS USED TO DO ONLY WITHOUT A NARRATOR pants: THIS IS ALL QUITE DISCONCERNING pants: AM I AS HIGH AS A KITE OR AS GAY AS A BIRTHDAY CAKE

pants: OH GOD WHERE DID THE DONG-AS-FAVICON GO pants: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD pants: MUSHROOM CLOUD

pants: CLIENTS FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL !!!!!!!! deuce: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOO deuce: <MUSHROOM CLOUD> deuce: THEN SILENCE, VINES OVERGROWING THE RUBBLE, WILDLIFE RETURNING

pants: [MUSIC UP AND UNDER] deuce: KA-BLAM deuce: MY DONG ARISES deuce: LIKE THE MORNING SUN OR A MUSHROOM CLOUD

spigot: GOT A BIG ERECTION / POKIN' ATCHA spigot: LICK ON THE DICK AND / FILL OUT THE CAPTCHA

deuce: NOT SURE WHAT MAKES ME MORE MAD, MUSLIM TERRORISTS OR SOFT ON DEMAND deuce: OR ALETTA OCEAN

spigot: HI I'M FARTLES deuce: MY BALLS ARE HANGING PRETTY LOW RIGHT NOW deuce: MUST BE THE HEAT

pants: /\OO/\ FLAP FLAP FLAP pants: WHOOPS SORRY WRONG PLATFORM :ows Me Millennium Edition : Windows Update : Programs > : Documents > : Settings > : Search > : Help : Run : . _ .. ... . _ . ._. ._ pants: WRONG ACCOUNT TOO HMM HLAGHLABGLABG MUST FILE BUG REPORT LAHUGHLUABGLABAG

deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN

deuce: SELF IMMOLATION spigot: IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BURN TO DEATH IN PUBLIC I MUST ALSO WEAR THE MOZILLA SHIRT

atandt: NUTRIENT VALUE OF SEMEN INADEQUATE atandt: MUST SEEK ALTERNATIVE FOODSTUFFS

spigot: MUST SET ALARM FOR 5AM TOILET SCRUBBING

deuce: SAY IT WITH ME: deuce: MUSTARD IS THE BEST TARD

deuce: YOU ARE OSTRACIZED FROM THE HERD pants: MUST I LIVE IN THE OUTLANDS WITH THE MUTANTS ??? OY VEY deuce: THE MU-TANTS IN THIS ISLAND EARTH WITH THE BIG HEADS pants: THEY CANNOT GET OVER THE DENCE AND DO NOT LIKE OUR TORCHES SO WE ARE SAFE FOR THE TIME BEING pants: WE SHOULD NOT HAVE KILLED WHITEY deuce: WHAT A BAD IDEA THAT WAS

spigot: MWAHAHA!!!! spigot: MY EVIL TEXT LAUGHTER MEANS I'M OBESE AND I LIKE INDUSTRIAL MUSIC spigot: MWAHAHA spigot: I HAVE SUCCESFULLY ARRANGED MY STAR WARS FIGURINES

pants: I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS OR LEGS

spigot: WELL I GUESS YOU'RE JUST TOO COOL TO BELIEVE IN GHOSTS THAT LIVE IN GIRLS' REAR ENDS

pants: I WILL BE THE ASHLEY BABBIT OF OXYCONTIN deuce: DO I GET TO SHOOT YOU IN THE NECK pants: ONE FLOPPY TIT FALLS OUT

spigot: WHOEVER TOOK MY LIGHTSPEED PASCAL FLOPPIES FROM MY BACKPACK PLEASE RETURN THEM spigot: ALSO I NEED MY BACKPACK spigot: MY LUNCH IS IN THERE

deuce: MY BALLS ARE LUGUBRIOUS deuce: MY DICK IS EBULLIENT deuce: MY MOUTH IS A SHIBBOLETH

: SPIGOT THE BEAR AS A SMOKEY THE BEAR FIGURE DOING LECTURES AT SCHOOLS, NOT A COP DRAMA spigot: ZIPPING UP MY BEAR SUIT!! spigot: FASTENING MY BEAR HEAD!! spigot: PARTING THE CURTAINS AND STROLLING ON STAGE!!! spigot: NO IDEA WHAT NEXT, OVERALL CONSENSUS IS: THIS GAG HAS NO LEGS, NEEDS WORK

pants: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOUTH OPEN WIDE TO RECEIVE pants: TO RECEIVE UH pants: WELL spigot: GURK GLK GLK SPLK PLUP pants: TO RECEIVE DATA IS MY BEST GUESS spigot: NOT QUITE MY TEMPO

spigot: MY BIKE WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT BEAT UP A WOMAN IN RETRIBUTION

spigot: MY BONER LIES OVER THE OCEAN spigot: MY BONER LIES OVER THE SEA spigot: CALL THE ENCLAVE

spigot: HEY WHO'S THE FATTEST pants: TAKE YOUR GAS MASK EVERYWHERE spigot: (HINT: ME) pants: GROW YOUR OWN spigot: T PANTS DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT AWAY FROM MY COMPLETE FATNESS pants: PUT YOUR PAPER OUT FOR SALVAGE

spigot: A SPRINKLE OF MOZZARELLA ON THE DOG SHIT spigot: NO TOO MUCH MOZZARELLA

deuce: PISSY PANTS net: DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY CONDITION

pants: pray with me (down here, on your knees) deuce: that's a puddle of piss pants: ignore that deuce: it'll get my corduroy pants all messy

spigot: YOUR DICK AND BALLS WILL BE MY CROSS TO BEAR

dick: BAILIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: THIS COURT RULES IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF ON ACCOUNT OF HER K-RAZY TITTIES!!!!!!!!!! deuce: PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THE COURTROOM

deuce: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH pants: SHUT UP pants: TODAY IS MY DAY IN COURT AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO RUIN IT pants: BUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

deuce: MY DEAD BONER (A MYSTERY) deuce: SPOILERS: YOU KILLED IT pants: BUT HOW SAID THE TOPLESS DUDE

deuce: MY DICK IS A TIME MACHINE AND MASTURBATION IS THE ON/OFF SWITCH atandt: SET SAIL FOR JESUS

spigot: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: MY DOCUMENTS :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER:

spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A BIG ERECTION IN MY FACE / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: IS THAT AFRICA BY TOTO spigot: IF IT WERE YOU'D BE SINGING ALONG spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A PENIS / POKIN' AT ME AND IT JUST WON'T GO / AWAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: YOU'D BE SUCKING ALONG

deuce: I FEEL LIKE I'VE WASTED MY WHOLE LIFE

spigot: THE BACK OF THIS TOILET IS THE LYSOL-CLEAN I CAN TRUST spigot: I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE TILE pants: I CAN SEE YOUR FACE IN THE TILE spigot: I CAN SEE MY NOSE IN THE TILE pants: WE CAN ALL SEE YOUR FACE IN THE TILE pants: NOW LET'S GET BACK TO WORK spigot: NOW I CANNOT SEE?????????

spigot: KERN MY NUTS AND PUNCH ME IN THE FONT pants: T SPIGOT PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY FAG HOMEWORK pants: T SPIGOT WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POO AND CRAP spigot: POO INHERITS FROM CRAP deuce: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING THAT LANGUAGE spigot: I AM SO SORRY pants: T SPIGOT OKAY NEXT QUESTION WHAT DO I DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR

deuce: I INVOKE MY FIFTH AMENDMENT RIGHT TO CHOKE IT DOWN pants: I LOVE YOU SO

spigot: MY FIRST ERECTION EVER

spigot: I HEAR PUMPY HURDY GURDY PIPE ORGANS FROM THE TOILET AREA spigot: DID ANYONE GET MY FLYER ABOUT MY FREE TAROT READINGS IN MY CUBE spigot: HUBLULGUBHLUHBLU spigot: PUBLISHING FICTION AND POLITICAL NON-FICTION HBUHLBULUHLBLU

pants: HOW LUCKY I AM TO GROW OLD WITH MY FRIENDS spigot: MORE LIKE GROW FAT WITH YOUR FAKE FRIENDS deuce: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET spigot: LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY HANG YOURSELF WITH ETHERNET CABLE deuce: WHO EVEN INVITED YOU HERE spigot: YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A CONFERENCE CALL deuce: YOU GODDAMN DUMB DONG spigot: WELCOME TO DUMB DONG WAREHOUSE EMPORIUM deuce: IF YOU GET A CHANCE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF spigot: WHO WRITES YOUR DIALOG deuce: AMERICAN FARTBAG spigot: STAY AWAY FROM ME :NOTES: pants: :HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES: MY FRIENDS :HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES:

spigot: HOT BUTTERY COCK WILL BE MY FUCKING SNACK pants: I'M FRIGHTENED spigot: FAT AND WET

pants: I CANNOT LIFT MY GAY HEAD

spigot: ! !! ! ! JEAN-CHARLES ! ! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! spigot: MY GIRLFRIEND IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS AND YOU HAVE LITTERED THE ENTIRE SPIRAL STAIRCASE WITH BANANA PEELS ! ! ! !! ! spigot: ACTUALLY GOOD WORK TODAY, NVM

pants: LEATHER-COVERED REARVIEW MIRROR ($675) deuce: MY GOD LETS US TEST MORE NUKES THAN YOUR GOD

spigot: WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT MY HAND HAS BEEN ON YOUR LAP FOR TEN MINUTES

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH spigot: I SNACK FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT!!! pants: JUST CALL ME ANAL BOY pants: AND YOU'D SAY OOOHH ANAL BOY spigot: I SNACK AFTER 3PM

spigot: NOBODY IS VISITING MY BLOG deuce: YOUR WHAT spigot: MY HNOTHING spigot: ALSIDG94

spigot: CAN SOMEONE TIVO THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY OF ME LICKING DICK deuce: I SAW YOU ON INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO deuce: WHEN YOU TRIED TO BEAT JAMES LIPTON OFF FORCEFULLY deuce: I THOUGHT IT WAS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE spigot: HE WAS ***ASKING*** ABOUT MY ***HOBBIES***

deuce: WHERE IS EVERYBODY IN MY HOUR OF NEED deuce: GHGHLHLGHLGHG deuce: SUCKING, ETC.

spigot: MY HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN AND I HAVE TO RUN IN AND GET MY BOBA FETTS AND MY TIMECARDS pants: DON'T FORGET STATUS REPORTS pants: PRECIOUS STATUS REPORTS deuce: ALSO CHEWBACCA NEEDS SAVING (WORTH A LOT !!!!!!!!!) pants: T DEUCE ONLY IF HE COMES WITH HIS BLASTER (YES I CAN SEE YOUR DOT-T PRIVMSG) deuce: HOLY GOD WE'VE GOT TO HELP SALON ZZZZZZZ

spigot: MY JOB IS NOT TO EDUTAIN, BUT RATHER TO INFOTATE

pants: SIRS deuce: POSSESSION IS 9/10THS OF THE BATTLE (YO JOE) pants: BUT I UH pants: T DEUCE I JUST NEED YOU TO OPERATE THE PUPPET'S ARMS, GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THE HOLE deuce: FUCK YOU THIS IS **MY** LIFE

deuce: I JUST FOUND OUT SAM ELLIOTT WILL BE NARRATING MY LIFE STORY pants: GROSS

pants: NOBODY USE MY LIPSTICK WHILE I'M GONE spigot: ABSOTIVELY POSITOOTLY

spigot: WAVING spigot: I DON'T WANT MY LOVE FOR YOU TO GET IN THE WAY OF MY COCKS FOR YOU

deuce: T PANTS I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO DELIVER THE NEWS IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES deuce: BUT BEFORE WE GO ON I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU: deuce: YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET IT pants: YOUR LOVING????? deuce: NEVER EVER GONNA GET IT pants: I MEAN SURELY AT SOME POINT IN TIME I WILL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET IT pants: THERE’S GOT TO BE AN UPPER BOUND OR A TIME OUT AT WHICH POINT IT SHOULD BE AVAILABLE deuce: MMMM BOP (NOPE)

net: T PANTS WHO WILL BE LUCKY PIERRE pants: T NET I TEND TO ARRIVE BLINDFOLDED WHEN I ATTEND THESE EVENTS pants: T NET I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT THERE WILL BE CORN AND DOG RACING pants: OKAY COCKFIGHTING pants: SLAPFIGHTING LIKE GIRLS

net: I WRAPPED MY MOM'S PRESENT (COOKBOOK) AND YOUR PRESENT (BUTTPLUG) EXACTLY THE SAME AND NOW I CAN'T TELL THEM APART !!!!!! ZANY HIJINKS ENSUE deuce: SOME SERIOUS EXPLAINING TO BE MADE TO THE DEUCE (YOUR MOTHER'S CONFUSION WILL PALE IN COMPARISON)

pants: RUNNING FROM MY MOUTH IS ALWAYS FOOLISH pants: WHERE WAS I pants: AH YES

deuce: QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER pants: MY NEW BIG RED TRUCK THAT NEEDS SOME REAR END WORK spigot: I SAY IF IT'S EVEN REMOTELY OR SLIGHTLY BROWN, FLUSH IT DOWN

deuce: T ATANDT CAN I TAKE PICTURES OF YOU WITH MY NEW DIGITAL CAMERA atandt: NO deuce: T ATANDT FUCK YOU atandt: YOU WILL HAVE TO BUY THE MAGAZINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

pants: MACANUDOS

pants: T DEUCE WOULD YOU LIKE A TEXT WITH A SELFIE OF ME IN MY NEW HOODIE deuce: I WOULD deuce: NOT!!!!! deuce: ACTUALLY I WOULD pants: WAITING FOR THE OTHER NOT TO DROP

deuce: HOW COME I HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO JERK OFF TO MY NEW PORN ?!?!?!? A DILEMMA (ALSO AN ANALEMA)

net: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY NUTS spigot: NOT UP CLOSE

pants: CALLING THE PROSTITUTE BEFORE BREAKFAST BUT AFTER COFFEE pants: AND NO I'M NOT GONNA BRUSH MY TEETH FOR A WHORE pants: FRANKLY, YOU STUPID COCKSUCKERS ARE LUCKY I'M WEARING OLD SPICE

pants: DO I NEED TO BRING MY OWN ASHTRAY dick: TAKING A NUMBER deuce: WHAT (YES) dick: MY MY pants: PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTT HERE COMES MY FACE

dick: I'M GOING TO STAGE MY OWN BREXIT, WHO'S IN pants: WILL THERE BE MATZO

pants: SHOULD I SPURT INTO MY OWN EYE AND COMPLAIN THAT "SOMEONE" SPURTED IN MY EYE deuce: THAT'LL LEARN 'EM pants: ALSO: DOES THAT MAKE ME GAY IF IT HAPPENS OR IF I THINK ABOUT IT deuce: CLASSIFIED

spigot: BARELY BARELY BARELY SQUINTING AT THE SCREEN AND COVERING MY EYES AS I OPEN MY PERFORMANCE REVIEW spigot: GLIMPSED "MEETS EXPECTATIONS" / CLOSED REVIEW FOREVER

deuce: I HAVE A SEVERE CASE OF THE BENDS deuce: MEANING I'LL BEND OVER FOR ANYONE pants: NOW YOU KNOW MY POSITION ON MONOGAMY

deuce: UNDERWEAR IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING POO OUT OF YOUR PANTS pants: SAY AGAIN ???? deuce: NOTHING pants: I HEARD PANTS!!! deuce: NO pants: AND POO AND UNDERWEAR!!! deuce: HOW ARE YOU HEARING MY PRIVATE THOUGHTS pants: WE ARE LIKE THE DREAMER WHO DREAMS AND THEN LIVES INSIDE THE DREAM deuce: THE ANCIENT PHRASE

pants: MY PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD IS TO TRACK URINE AROUND

pants: HOW CAN RAPE BE AGGRAVATED ANYWAY pants: OH pants: PLEASE PRODUCE MY REGGAE ALBUM

deuce: my kerfuffle has turned into an imbroglio deuce: also my relapse has turned into a prolapse pants: jack off heaven

pants: GIVE ME MY SOUL BACK dick: IT'S RATHER STICKY AT THIS POINT HOPE YOU DON'T MIND

deuce: 148.5 MAKING A FALSE POLICE REPORT deuce: 653M OBSCENE PHONE CALLS deuce: 647F INTOXICATION deuce: 246 SHOOTING AT A DWELLING deuce: 12031 CARRYING A LOADED FIREARM

spigot: JERKICTY IS SHAREWARE PEOPLE spigot: LET'S ALL SHOW OUR SUPPORT BY SENDING ME $5.00 spigot: WHO KEEPS PUTTING MY FUCKING SWEATER IN THE TOILET

deuce: MY SWEET JESUS I'M SURROUNDED BY FAGS pants: AND THEN HIS FACE MORPHED INTO A FATTER FACE AND I THREW UP spigot: DO YOU EVEN HAVE MY ICQ NUMBER/CODE

pants: HARD TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITH NUTS IN MY MOUTH

deuce: YOUR JUDGE, JURY AND COCKSUCKER pants: WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE, MY ALIBI

pants: I AM PANTS FROM JERKCITY pants: PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN MY FACE ON TV pants: OR HEARD MY VOICE ON RADIO

deuce: CAN WE JUST AGREE THAT MY WANG IS NOT A CARPET deuce: DON'T WIPE YOUR DIRTY FEET ON IT deuce: THANKS pants: I'VE GOT TO WIPE THEM SOMEWHERE deuce: I'M SAYING USE AN ACTUAL CARPET, NOT MY WANG (WHICH IS, AGAIN, NOT, I REPEAT NOT, A CARPET) deuce: IT'S NOT A RUG EITHER TO BE CLEAR pants: STILL THOUGH pants: WHY CAN'T WE JUST AGREE THAT IT IS WIPEABLE deuce: I'M NOT ARGUING THAT IT'S NOT WIPEABLE deuce: I'M SAYING IT'S NOT INTENDED FOR THAT PURPOSE deuce: AND REQUESTING EMPHATICALLY THAT YOU STOP USING IT FOR THAT PURPOSE deuce: PLEASE RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE! TO _MY WANG IS NOT A CARPET, NOR IS IT A RUG FOR THAT MATTER_

spigot: OKAY NOW LET'S SEE WHO THIS "GHOST" REALLY IS spigot: [YANKING THE MASK] spigot: [STILL YANKING] spigot: [MMM URF COME ON NOW] spigot: TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING MASK YOU DUMB QUEER

spigot: MYSTERIOUS SHINY MONOLITH FOUND IN MY GODDAMN UNDERPANTS

spigot: CALLING THE IT GUY OVER AND ASKING HIM TO BLOCK LIVE JASMIN POPUPS pants: MYSTERY CLONKINGS AND BONKINGS COMING FROM MY SPEAKERS, VOWING NEVER TO BE FOOLED AGAIN, PROMPTLY BEING FOOLED AGAIN

pants: I'M THAT MYSTERY CORE FILE SITTING AROUND LIKE A PILE OF SHIT NOBODY WILL CLEAN UP

pants: WHERE _N_ IS THE NUMBER OF HARD PLASTIC DICKS IN MY MOUTH