pants: HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DO THIS deuce: YOU'LL KNOWWHEN I'M DONE

effigy: I THINK I'VE LOST MY ERECTION inebriated crustacean: THEN GET OUT

deuce: OKAY ozone: HEY THIS ISN'T THE DEUCE deuce: OKAY ozone: JUST SOME GUY WITH APHASIA ozone: WHERE'S THE DEUCE? deuce: OKAY

spigot: PISS BOAT deuce: TOOT TOOT pants: CHUG CHUG spigot: CHOO CHOO (OKAY GUESS WHAT PISS RELATED MODE OF TRANSPORTATION I AM)

spigot: OKAY MADONNA!!!!!!!! WE ALL GET THE IDEA!!!!!! YOUR LOVE JUST KEEPS GETTING PUSHED OVER THE GOD DAMN BORDERLINE

spigot: OKAY NOW I'M AN AMBULANCE spigot: OKAY NOW I'M A SCHOOLBUS ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ spigot: HEY LOOK AT ALL THE POLYGONS MMF URF STUFFING DONUTS INTO ME

spigot: OPTIMIZED FOR DICKS spigot: WAIT spigot: OKAY NOW I AM OPTIMIZED FOR DICKS !!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: IT'S COLD pants: PISSING deuce: SOMEONE HOLD ME pants: PISSING!!! deuce: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME pants: PISSING!!!!!!!!!! deuce: OKAY OKAY ALREADY deuce: JEEZ

spigot: TRYING TO OVERLOAD += HERE deuce: OKAY PEOPLE: HEAD spigot: SO MOUTH += STRINGPTR(BALLS) SHOULD WORK BUT I NEED MORE MEMORY spigot: ALSO NEED MORE FOODS WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS deuce: SOMEONE SIGHUPPED MY MOUTH

spigot: OKAY QUIET NO TALKING DURING MACNEIL/LEHRER deuce: DON'T TRY AND FOOL US SPIGOT EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THAT STUFF spigot: TRYING TO LEARN ABOUT BONSIA AND CHEVENESERESSCHIHA

pants: NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM pants: OKAY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

deuce: NEED A QUESTION ANSWERED URGENTLY deuce: IF THERE'S A SHEMALE BUT IT HAS BUNNY EARS THEN IT'S NOT GAY RIGHT deuce: OKAY THANKS I THOUGHT SO (STILL GAY) deuce: 50.00001% FEMALE OR MALE OR IS IT LIKE HAVING A PLURALITY BUT NOT A MAJORITY deuce: BUT YOU STILL WIN (NOT GAY) deuce: DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT I'M TOTALLY NOT GAY pants: GROSS, DUDE deuce: I WAS ASKING FOR A FRIEND

deuce: GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS spigot: COCKS pants: OKAY THEN

spigot: HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / AGAIN spigot: GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS / MATH spigot: ALSO I TALK DURING SHOWS

spigot: ME AND THE MISSUS HAD A GOOD CRY AND IT TURNS OUT IT'S OKAY THAT I'M GAY spigot: CAN I PLEASE STAY IN YOUR HOUSE UNTIL MARCH deuce: WHEEEE

pants: POOR BERNIE MADOFF deuce: I HOPE HE'S OKAY TONIGHT

deuce: WHERE'S THE POT YOU WERE GOING TO SELL ME spigot: I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME JUST TO USE YOUR MONEY AND BUY BURGERS AND THEN SMOKE IT MYSELF deuce: OH WELL I GUESS THAT'S OKAY spigot: T DEUCE BY BURGERS I OF COURSE MEAN BONERS deuce: OH WELL I GUESS THAT'S OKAY TOO

spigot: OKAY, HOME TO CUT MY DICK OFF

deuce: I AM EXPERIENCING THE PARADOX OF TIME DILATION DUE TO SPECIAL RELATIVITY pants: I'M OLD deuce: YOU HAVE BEEN HERE PATIENTLY WAITING FOR ME ALL THIS TIME

deuce: WELL I SURE SLEPT LIKE SHIT dick: AND I DIDN'T POOP VERY WELL pants: WHAT deuce: RIOTING dick: NO TOO TIRED, HAVE TO NAP deuce: JEALOUS pants: WHAT pants: HOLD ON MY HEARING AID IS OFF pants: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE pants: MAYBE JUST WRITE DOWN YOUR REQUEST AND BURY IT IN THE FOREST

pants: T SPIGOT WHY CAN'T IT BE MY AL CAPONE CAP WHY DOES IT GOTTA BE THE OLD MAN CAP spigot: HORSEPLAY

deuce: I JUST UNPACKED SOME BOXES OF NOODLE SOUP AND PUT THEM ON A HIGH SHELF AND NOW I'M WINDED AND DIZZY

spigot: OLD MCDONALD HAD A PRICK spigot: E I OW spigot: OWWWWWWWWWW

spigot: YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL ********** WORLDSTAR ********** JUST CAUSE I'M LICKING A DICK

pants: WHO WANTS TO SUCK DICK AT OLIVE GARDEN effigy: ......ENDLESS BREAD STICKS deuce: MEMEMEME deuce: WAIT WHICH ONE deuce: AW deuce: FUCK IT deuce: MEMEMEMEME effigy: (3.... 2..... 1.....)

pants: CAN WE GO TO OLIVE GARDEN spigot: IF WE PRACTICE AND REMAIN IN THE AGREED-UPON SOPRANOS CHARACDIBS ON GAY VITO pants: I CALL PAULIE deuce: HURRR MEADOW

dick: uh deuce: omg pants: fuh spigot: unsubscribe

spigot: OH MY GOD YOU POO YOUR PANTS ONE TIME AND YOU'RE THE POO YOUR PANTS GUY

spigot: how about darth vader uses baby yoda as a fleshlight on a planet made of dog shit

spigot: SENNNNNNNNNNNNNNURK pants: I AM SWAYING IN THE BREEZE

spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HONESTLY RATE MY DONG ON A SCALE FROM DICKS TO PRICKS

spigot: A RENEGADE COP ON AN OUTPOST AT THE EDGE OF SPACE spigot: IN A WORLD IN THE LAND BEFORE TIME FORGOT spigot: FORUMS, BLOGS

deuce: I'm a little teapot pants: are you deuce: I am deuce: would a teapot lie to you pants: ya might deuce: on behalf of all teapots I am offended at your insinuation

pants: YOU CAN OWN ME BUT WITHOUT THE 0 AND DEFINITELY WITHOUT THE P pants: ALSO NO FUNNY COMBINATIONS (P BEFORE 0, P IN PLACE OF 0 OR O) pants: I'LL JUST LIE BACK AND THINK OF ENGLAND (FOR SOME REASON)

spigot: I KEEP MY PAGER CLIPPED BETWEEN MY NUTS LIKE A STAPLE spigot: SO IF ANYONE FROM WORK NEEDS ME I'LL KNOW spigot: WHEN MY PAGER VIBRATES I GET A NOSEBLEED AND A BONER

deuce: JUST KEEP ADDING BATCHES OF 100 UNTIL IT SLOWS DOWN, THEN EXERCISE JUDGEMENT pants: THAT'S EXACTLY THE SPHERE OF RESPONSIBILITY THAT SHOULD BE BESTOWED UPON ME: EXERCISING JUDGEMENT

effigy: I AM BQ QA deuce: BUT YOU HAVE PRIDE deuce: SO YOU'RE BQ QE deuce: YOU DON'T ASSURE QUALITY, YOU ENGINEER QUALITY deuce: WITH YOUR PRIDE ?️‍?

net: I MUST EAT MORE OTHERWISE I WON'T GET FAT ENOUGH deuce: T NET THE WAY I SEE IT DURING THE TIMES WHEN YOU'RE NOT EATING YOU'RE ACTUALLY *LOSING* WEIGHT deuce: SO IT MAKES SENSE TO PORK UP net: YAY NOT JUST FROZEN PIZZA BUT LEFTOVER FROZEN PIZZA

spigot: my foot is on fire but everyone thinks it's leaves

pants: i like the piss sticks made fresh not the frozen ones deuce: but freezing piss is the only way to make it solid??? pants: you can also give them a stern look and they go into stick form right away and if that doesn't work ask to speak to their manager deuce: the husband of the manager pants: a woman manager??????????????????? <h1>give me a break</h1>

pants: LET'S TOUCH DICKS spigot: CAN I BORROW A STEPHEN KING NOVEL OR POSSIBLY A NOVELLA spigot: SERIOUSLY IT'S A LONG TRAIN RIDE BACK TO WHEREVER IT IS I'M GOING AND I'D REALLY LIKE SOME COMPANY pants: FOR GOD'S SAKE LET US TOUCH DICKS BEFORE THE SUN COMES UP AND WE TURN INTO DUST OR PUMPKINS OR MICE OR WHATEVER spigot: CARRIE'S SHINING TOMMYKNOCKERS

pants: MOSTLY THE URINE pants: YES I KNOW IT'S AN AWFUL MESS pants: AGAIN, I'D HAVE TO SAY MOSTLY THE URINE

atandt: HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY atandt: DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH AT A DISABLED VETERAN atandt: THEY KILLED INNOCENT CHILDREN FOR YOU deuce: THAT'S COOL spigot: DID YOU LOSE YOUR LEGS SUCKING COCK IN A BATH HOUSE

deuce: LASAGNA IS SO FUCKING GOOD pants: SUCKING THINGS deuce: MMM LASAGNA

spigot: I'M ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: URF HUHHHHH spigot: OFFLINE

: According to legend, alcohol was the principal factor contributing to Gay City's next upheaval. pants: SMALL PILES OF SHIT ON A BAKING TRAY, PUT IN OVEN deuce: PRETTY SURE THAT'S HOW THE WHOLE PROCESS WORKS ANYWAY deuce: IF YOU LIKE BURNT SHIT ON YOUR HANDS I GUESS pants: BUM ME OUT

deuce: LET'S REVERSE ENGINEER MY BALLS bung: IS THE GOAL LARGER/FASTER BALLS OR CHEAPER BALLS? deuce: T BUNG THE GOAL IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW THEY WORK !!!!! DUH bung: T DEUCE THEY WORK LIKE THIS: bung: SMACK SMACK SMACK ON MY CHIN

spigot: licking dick on my own terms!!!!! and at orchard supply

pants: DROWN ME IN THE DROWNING BUCKET deuce: BEATIFY ME deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT NOW THAT I'VE LOOKED THAT WORD UP NEVER MIND

spigot: ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYONE LICK DICK spigot: MEVER MINB

spigot: MY DONG IS TRULY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER

spigot: I'M BUSY STUDYING UP ON THE HISTORY OF BLACK COCK

pants: I REALLY NEED TO SPEAK WITH THE REAL TUPAC THIS TIME pants: YES, I'LL HOLD

spigot: SOMETHING WITH THE AM BEING FM spigot: WAIT THAT'S A CLOCK RADIO spigot: COMPUTER'S IN MY ROOM HANG ON spigot: OKAY NOW I HAVE THE COMPUTER ON THE FUTON WITH ME spigot: TURNS OUT I JUST HAD MY HEAD IN THE TOILET

spigot: DID YOU PUT BONEQUEST ON THE MOON AS A PRANK

pants: POOLS OF DICK AWAIT ME ON THE MOON pants: NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP ME FROM CHOKING ALL OF THESE DOWN AT ONCE spigot: BUT I HAD THREE BAGELS IN THE FRIDGE?!?!?!

spigot: OKAY HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY EVERYDAY DOLLAR BILL spigot: NOW WATCH, I'LL TAKE BOTH EN spigot: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR spigot: CONSIDER THIS DECK OF CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

spigot: MY MOUTH REMAINS UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS spigot: IF 7-11'S ARE OPEN 24 HOURS, WHY CAN'T I STOP SUCKING COCK ON THE TRAIN TRACKS

spigot: ON THE WHOLE I FIND YOUR BONER COMPLETELY DISRUPTIVE

pants: PUNCH THINGS pants: NO, WAIT: pants: SUCK THINGS

bung: T DEUCE WANNA TOUCH DICKS? deuce: T BUNG I DON'T SEE WHY NOT deuce: WE ARE AN ARCLIGHT EXCEPT THE PROBES ARE MADE OF DICK INSTEAD OF CARBON AND INSTEAD OF ELECTRICITY IT'S JIZZ AND LOVE deuce: SO I GUESS IT'S NOT REALLY AN ARCLIGHT AFTER ALL

spigot: on which neighborhood properties are the prostitutes buried spigot: give me a rough Zestimate

deuce: SHITTING WHERE YOU EAT ONCE AGAIN pants: BUT SHIT IS WHAT I EAT

spigot: I NEED AN APP THAT WILL PING ME ONCE AN HOUR TO SAY STOP EATING spigot: T PANTS BTW THANKS FOR THE BREAD

spigot: once and for all: does tim conway's death seriously mean no more dorf

pants: THAT WAS BEFORE I RAPED THE PRIEST AND FED THE PIGEONS spigot: I'VE HEARD THAT ONE ONCE OR TWICE (THREE TIMES)

net: DICKS ON IN AROUND OVER UNDER NEAR ME net: AND THE OTHER PREPOSITIONS TOO deuce: THERE ARE LOTS YOU'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THEM ONE AT A TIME net: DICKS ABOUT ME net: DICKS BESIDES ME net: DICKS INSIDE ME net: DICKS SINCE ME net: DICKS ABOVE ME net: DICKS ACROSS ME net: DICKS AS NATIONAL HERITAGE net: DICKS AFTER ME net: DICKS AGAINST ME net: DICKS ALONG ME net: DICKS AMONG ME net: DICKS AROUND ME net: DICKS AT ME net: DICKS BEFORE ME net: DICKS BEHIND ME net: DICKS VS. COMMON SENSE net: DICKS BENEATH ME net: DICKS BESIDE ME net: DICKS BETWEEN ME net: DICKS BEYOND ME net: DICKS BUT ME net: DICKS BY ME net: DICKS CONCERNING ME net: DICKS DESPITE ME net: DICKS CRAWLING WITH AIDS net: DICKS DOWN ME net: DICKS DURING ME net: DICKS EXCEPT ME net: DICKS EXCEPTING ME net: DICKS FOR ME net: DICKS FROM ME net: DICKS IN ME net: DICKS INTO ME net: DICKS WITHOUT BORDERS net: DICKS OVER ME net: DICKS PAST ME net: DICKS REGARDING ME net: DICKS ROUND ME pants: AWWW YEAH pants: GO TEAM net: DICKS THROUGH ME deuce: MAN WHAT A FAG net: DICKS THROUGHOUT ME net: DICKS TILL ME net: DICKS TO ME : NET TAKES A DRINK OF WATER net: DICKS TOWARD ME net: DICKS UNDER ME net: DICKS UNDERNEATH ME net: DICKS UNTIL ME net: DICKS UP ME net: DICKS UPON ME net: DICKS WITH ME pants: HIGH SCORE!!! ENTER YOUR INITIALS net: DICKS WITHIN ME

deuce: WATCH ME AS I ROLL THIS BALL DOWN THIS INCLINED PLANE deuce: AND deuce: THE BALL MYSTERIOUSLY ENDS UP IN MY ASS

spigot: six months ago my doctor informed me my ass is haunted spigot: six months ago my doctor informed me my ass is haunted spigot: today my balls keep going boo spigot: not a great Q4 deuce: it's just one damn thing after another spigot: may i take a candy cane deuce: You've used 100% of your 1024 GB monthly data plan.

spigot: WALKING AROUND LIKE I'M THE LICK OF THE DICK spigot: ONE DOOR LEADS TO FREEDOM AND THE OTHER DOOR LEADS TO DEATH BUT ONE GUARD ALWAYS TELLS THE TRUTH AND THE OTHER GUARD ALWAYS LIES!!!! SO WHAT QUESTION DO YOU ASK SO YOU GET TO LICK BOTH OF THEIR DICKS

spigot: 1-800-URINE ISN'T EVEN SEVEN DDDDD OH JESUS YOU'RE SOAKING ME pants: I CAN'T WEAR THESE CLOTHES TO WORK TOMORROW DUE TO YOUR WETTING spigot: THIS CLASS IS HARD

spigot: T DEUCE I THINK IN MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE HAD MAYBE TWO BONERS deuce: T SPIGOT NOW I KNOW THAT'S NONSENSE YOU'VE HAD MY BONER AT LEAST FIFTY-TWO TIMES

pants: ONE FOR THE CROW, PLEASE pants: WHAT pants: ALL RIGHT FINE ONE FOR HIGHLANDER IV THEN pants: WHAT ?!??! WHEN ???? pants: SIGH pants: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL WITH VAMPYRES OR SWORDSMEN pants: MAYBE THE VAMPYRES HAVE SWORDS pants: COULD YOU JUST PLEASE TAKE A CRAP IN MY MOUTH THEN

spigot: WELL THAT'S ONE FOR THE MONEY spigot: TWO TO LICK DICK spigot: STOPPING THERE

spigot: [A [A [A spigot: THAT'S THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING (OKAY SLAPPING) spigot: TELL PANTS (MY NUTS AND ASS)

deuce: I AM ONE HOT FAGGOT spigot: YOU'RE TELLING ME OW OW

pants: ONE HOUR MARTINIZING deuce: IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT I-- (NO IT IS NOT) deuce: TOO SICK TO SUCK pants: NOT SICK ENOUGH NOT TO SUCK

pants: AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: FUNNY atandt: ONE IF MY LAND AND TWO IF BY FACE pants: THEY USUALLY ARRIVE BY NOW

deuce: HURRAY deuce: IF THEY DIDN'T GIVE US SO MUCH LIP IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN atandt: DUMB IN THE TITS deuce: THAT'S MY CATCHPHRASE atandt: T DEUCE HERE'S A QUARTER deuce: ROYALTIES

effigy: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NANOMETER AND A KILOMETER deuce: ONE GETS YOU HARD AND ONE GETS YOU HIGH effigy: TOO BAD THEY'RE NOT ONE IN THE SAME

spigot: ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER spigot: BAM BAM BAM SIR IN THE NEXT STALL I SAID ONE IS A LONELY NUMBER AM I RIGHT

deuce: COCKS deuce: BONERS atandt: YOU'RE A ONE MAN SHOW deuce: IT'S MY ONLY OPTION (NO FRIENDS)

spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU FOOL, YOU HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE CAKE pants: THE DRILL INSTRUCTOR, SHE WILL BE VERY UPSET spigot: WHO WILL FLY THE PLANE pants: I HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL MY TRAINING spigot: YOU STUPID FOOL, ONE SHOE IS TOO BIG AND ONE IS TOO SMALL pants: HOW WILL I ENGAGE IN TRENCH WARFARE WITH THIS KETTLE ON MY HEAD

spigot: CAN WE PLEASE ALL PISS TOGETHER ONE LAST TIME pants: A HOLIDAY FISTING

spigot: ONE LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD WHILE I WAIT IN LINE, ONE LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD AS I WALK BACK TO THE CAR, ONE OR TWO LOAVES OF GARLIC BREAD ON THE DRIVE HOME — AND THEN AT NIGHT, IN BED, A SENSIBLE SELECTION OF GARLIC BREADS

spigot: *THE STORY OF ONE MAN'S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY TO LICK DICK* spigot: HELLO spigot: GURK DURK BAGURK

.(spigot): IF I HAVE TO LEARN ONE MORE SCREWY-ASS CURLY-COCK SCRIPTING LANGUAGE I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF

deuce: TODAY I MANAGED TO STAVE OFF SUICIDE FOR ONE MORE DAY

net: T DEUCE I'M ONLY GOING TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME: I DICK, YOU LICK deuce: LET US SPURT net: DO YOU AGREE TO THE GUIDELINES deuce: THE DEFENSE STIPULATES THAT IT HURTS net: WE HAVE NO DEAL deuce: FFFF

pants: I'M ONLY GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE MORE TIME SO I WANT YOU TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION pants: I CANNOT BEAT OFF OR EVEN GET AN ERECTION UNLESS I CAN SMELL THE CATBOX AND THAT IS WHY IT HAS TO BE IN HERE WITH US

pants: THIS STALL LOOKS FULL BUT WE CAN FIT ONE MORE WILLING PARTY IN pants: UP YOU GO, YOU BE ON TOP pants: SINCE YOU'RE NEW, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN TO DANGLE YOUR LEGS pants: TRY TO REST THEM ON THE BAR FOR HANDICAPPED PEOPLE pants: WE CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN TWO AT A TIME SHOWING

spigot: WHY ARE YOU THRUSTING YOUR CANE UNDER THE STALL WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-E dick: ONE MUST THRUST IT SOMEWHERE MUSTN'T ONE

pants: WHO ELSE ZIPS THEIR SWEATER ALL THE WAY UP AND PRETENDS TO BE A STARFLEET OFFICER spigot: T PANTS I DO THE PICARD TUG TO STRAIGHTEN THE FRONT (NOT THE AL PACINO TIE TUG FROM HEAT)

pants: ARE BOTH OF YOUR DADS GAY OR JUST THE ONE

pants: HOW FUCKED UP IS THIS pants: MERVYNS CALIFORNIA WILL BOTH (A) DRUGTEST THEIR EMPLOYEES AND (B) PLAY PHIL COLLINS OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER pants: IT'S ONE OR THE OTHER YOU IDIOT FAGGOTS I AM SERIOUSLY NEVER BUYING TOWELS OR UNDERPANTS AT YOUR ESTABLISHMENT EVER AGAIN

spigot: T PANTS WILL YOU BE SHARING YOUR PHOTOS OF THE WOMEN'S MARCH (LONG LONG LONG STREAM OF UPSKIRTS) deuce: ONE OR TWO ACCIDENTAL DICKS pants: SOMETIMES THERE ARE DICKS UNDER THE SKIRTS!!!! I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE MYSTERY DICKS

spigot: LET'S ALL ACT UP AND FIGHT AIDS AND LICK BALLS pants: ONE OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD

pants: BALLS ARE THE CRUELEST ANIMAL

pants: KISS THE TIP deuce: ONE PING ONLY VASILLI pants: COMMANDER? deuce: ONE PING ONLY PLEASE