pants: DON'T PRAY FOR ME pants: WAIT pants: OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE

pants: OKAY I NEED EVERYBODY TO PRAY FOR ME pants: IN 3 pants: 2 pants: 1 pants: PRAY FOR PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: THERE'S NO PARTICULAR REASON OR WANT I JUST LIKE TO BE IN GOD'S THOUGHTS deuce: YOU'LL REGRET IT pants: WILL I THO deuce: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

pants: PRAY UNDER ME pants: GO ON pants: CLIMB DOWN pants: THERE YOU GO deuce: YOU'RE PEEING pants: NOW: PRAY

spigot: I CAN'T BREATHE FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY GOD (AND CHRIST) pants: PRAY WITH ME spigot: I HAVE FORSAKEN MY ONLY BEGOTTEN BONER FOR RICH DELICIOUS CRUMBCAKE

pants: WASH AWAY MY UGLY SINS

spigot: LET'S BOW FOR PRAYER spigot: FALLS FOWARD, BASHES HEAD ON CORNER OF SOLID MARBLE COUNTERTOP

pants: PRAYER WARRIORS DESPERATELY NEEDED AGAIN pants: JUST KIDDING WELCOME TO THE COCKSUCKING CONTEST BOYS

spigot: T DEUCE I'M PRAYING FOR YOU deuce: T SPIGOT PUCKER UP BABY spigot: DON'T KNOCK MY FAITH WHEN YOU COULD SIMPLY KNOCK ME DOWN MARBLE STEPS

dick: FEELING ESPECIALLY DANCY / PRANCY THIS MORNING dick: I AM PUNCHING YOUR PRE-PAID BLOWJOB CARD TWICE BECAUSE YOU DID NOT BATHE TODAY dick: MAKE THAT THREE TIMES (UNCIRCUMCIZED)

spigot: LET HE WHO LICKS DICK LICK THE FIRST DICK pants: AMEN deuce: HALLELUJAH

pants: standing on you like a hose deuce: forcing me to exhale all my precious oxygen deuce: huhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghg-h (some spit) pants: putting a kink in you pants: now you spray sideways

spigot: BRISCO: THE PERP MUST HAVE BEEN IN A HURRY spigot: CURTIS: HE LEFT HIS PRECIOUS WEAPON BEHIND spigot: MCCOY: HURRRRR HUHHHHHHH GAY POO pants: LAW & ORDER WILL BE RIGHT BACK

pants: T SPIGOT I'M PREGNANT spigot: THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF THAT GOING AROUND LATELY

pants: PREGGO pants: CAUSING EROSION IN YOUR FACE/NECK/BALLS AREA pants: TUGGING AND TUGGING AND TUGGING SOME MORE

spigot: I AM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: YOU ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2:PRESIDENT:POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: OF THE SAN ANSELMO BEDWETTERS ASSOCIATION deuce: IT'S MORE OF AN HONORARY POSITION, REALLY deuce: WE'RE ALL PRESIDENTS AT THE SABA

dick: I'M PRETENDING MY MOUTH ISN'T FOR SALE (BUT IT REALLY IS) deuce: I'M KNOWING IT IS

pants: I'M PRETTY deuce: NO YOU'RE NOT

deuce: THERE'S ONLY TWO WAYS WE CAN LEAVE THIS ROOM: IF I SUCK YOUR DICK OR YOU SUCK MY DICK pants: OR WE CAN JUST LIVE HERE deuce: WHO WILL FEED US pants: GOD WILL FIND A WAY deuce: WELL HE CERTAINLY DOESN'T WANT US TO SUCK EACH OTHER'S DICKS pants: THE BIBLE IS PRETTY CLEAR ABOUT THAT

pants: CAN YOU TELL THIS IS ME JACKING OFF (SERIES OF POLAROIDS ON COFFEE TABLE) deuce: T PANTS THEY'RE PHOTOS OF FLOWERS pants: H-HOLD ON

spigot: POLICE CHALLENGE PENTAGON INVESTIGAION AND SHOOT GAYS spigot: AJGF9402JGEIDA;JLG49E0WIRKDIVAO <-- MY PGP deuce: I THINK YOUR PGP KEY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED (CLEARLY IT'S GAY)

deuce: MY DICK IS GLUTEN FREE pants: MINE'S MADE OF GOLD

ozone: I WENT TO FRY'S TODAY deuce: DID THE CHILDREN POINT AND SCREAM ozone: NO BUT YOU SUCKED MY DICK deuce: PRETTY SURE I DON'T REMEMBER THAT ozone: AT LEAST I HOPE IT WAS YOU deuce: OH WAIT THAT WAS YOU ???

spigot: THE WEBSITE AHEAD CONTAINS MALWARE! spigot: PRETTY SURE IT'S A HANDJOB VIDEO

spigot: PRICK BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HURF LURF BLUH GLUH MY FACE HOOF HOIF GAY spigot: BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: ARF spigot: PRICKSERVER 5000

: On the left, deuce. On the right, spigot AKA Spigot the Bear aka [REDACTED]. Do not approach [REDACTED] Consider [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. spigot: PRICKFEST spigot: WHO WANTS A MAP TO MY FACE deuce: ON MY WAY

spigot: PRICKS AHOY spigot: CAN I, AS A RETAILER, SPAWN A RARE POKEMON RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY STORE AND THEN DETONATE A BUNCH OF TNT spigot: I SUCK DICK AND NO THIS IS NOT A MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING SCAM deuce: {{{ DIARRHEA }}}

deuce: HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME LICKY PRICKY pants: HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE ME CHINAMAN STYLE (OPIUM, PEEING IN MY COKE, RICE, RAILROADS, LAUNDRY) deuce: I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS "CHINAMAN STYLE" !!!! WE WILL START AT 2:30 pants: EXCELLENT deuce: PENCIL ME IN FOR -- deuce: HEY WAIT A MINUTE IS THIS GOING TO END UP ON JERKCITY pants: FIRST I TAKE IT UP THE ASS, THEN YOU CRAM IT HARD pants: AND WE SELL THE VIDEO FOR $79.99 deuce: RIGHT (IN SOME ORDER) deuce: WITH WALNUTS pants: UNCANNY, THAT

deuce: GHALGUHALG deuce: I AM COUNTING IN PRIME NUMBERS deuce: .. deuce: ... deuce: ..... deuce: ....... deuce: ...... COCKS

net: T DEUCE I AM ONLY GOING TO ASK YOU THIS ONCE SO THINK CAREFULLY deuce: MMMMMMMMMMMMM net: WHO IS THE PRINCE OF YOUR BALLS deuce: I DON'T KNOW BUT YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN OF MY HEART !!!!!!!! net: GOOD ENOUGH

spigot: I CAN OPEN A CAN OF PRINGLES USING JUST MY TEETH AND BOTH HANDS AND A CAN OPENER

spigot: FORGETTING ABOUT THE PRINT DIALOG AND TAKING A LONG LUNCH spigot: TAKING A LONG SHIT WITH CONTINUED DISREGARD FOR THE PRINT DIALOG deuce: THIS CONCLUDES TODAY'S PRINT DIALOG THEATRE spigot: GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND (PRINT DIALOG)

deuce: MOTHER COCK DICKS atandt: CUT atandt: PRINT THAT

spigot: KERVORKIAN EYEBALLS COFFEE CAKE deuce: DO THEY HAVE THOSE IN PRISON deuce: I MEAN ASIDE FROM THE STIFF UNWANTED ANAL RAPE atandt: DID SOMEONE SAY PRISON RAPE spigot: HURMPH spigot: BONK spigot: HURMPH spigot: NOW THAT'S A LETHAL INJECTION!!!!!! AM I RIGHT?!?!?! spigot: LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR DOCTOR KERPUNKIAN WHICH IS YOUR NEW NAME AS OF (LOOKING AT DONG) RIGHT NOW

deuce: I'M GOING TO HAVE A PRIVATE RED DWARF SHOWING AT MY HOUSE TOMORROW NIGHT AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED net: I'LL BRING THE DALEKS

net: I'VE GOT GAY WHO WANTS SOME deuce: T NET CAN YOU SPARE IT ?!?!?! net: I'VE GOT A WHOLE LOT MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM (net): THIS IS FROM MY PRIVATE STASH

deuce: IS THAT THE BLIND ONE bung: NO deuce: SO SHE'S BLIND EH bung: NO! deuce: HOW DID SHE LOSE HER EYESIGHT bung: NO!!

deuce: OKAY I GOT JIZZ ON MY HAND

deuce: FOLKS deuce: WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE : DEUCE POINTS TO THE PUDDLE OF LIQUID UNDERNEATH HIM

pants: I'M PROBLEMATIC deuce: TOTES pants: ALEPPO IS A DOG FOOD RIGHT

atandt: BUG: PLEASE MAKE THE USER INTERFACE LESS RACIST pants: THE CHINAMAN ICON WILL BE SAD

pants: LET'S BAKE A CAKE OR TAKE A SHOWER atandt: MAN OVERBOARD pants: FUCKED / HAVEN'T FUCKED YET / ALL FUCKED OUT pants: AND TRACK URINE AROUND atandt: DOWN IN FRONT pants: T DEUCE I WAS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES pants: FOR TWO TERMS atandt: SELECTING PEDOBEAR FROM THE START MENU pants: I AM INVINCIBLE : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

spigot: PROFOUNDLY spigot: MENTALLY spigot: RETARDED

deuce: "PROGNOSIS: GAY" WEDNESDAYS AT 6 ON CBS spigot: WHY PROGNOSIS: GAY IS THE BEST SHOW YOU'RE NOT WATCHING spigot: PROGNOSIS: GAY GETS IT spigot: CHEERS TO PROGNOSIS: GAY spigot: CBS DOMINATES THURSDAY NIGHTS WITH PROGNOSIS: GAY spigot: PROGNOSIS GAY: THE MOVIE? spigot: PROGNOSIS: GAY FALLS OUT OF FAVOR spigot: PROGNOSIS: CANCELED? spigot: FANS RALLY SIGNATURES, FLASH MOBS TO RESTORE PROGNOSIS: GAY deuce: PROGNOSIS: GAY FANFIC deuce: PROGNOSIS: GAY UNOFFICAL [SIC] FAN SITE

deuce: NO RESULTS FOUND FOR "PROGRAMMING YOUR FROG". deuce: WHICH IN AND OF ITSELF IS WEIRD

deuce: MORNING WHACKOFF COMPLETE

pants: DICKS pants: THEN MORE DICKS pants: THEY DON'T / DO NOT STOP

spigot: I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS AND POUR THE DIRTY SHAMPOO WATER INTO THE SINK AND WRAP THE CORD AROUND THE THING AND PUT IT BACK IN THE CLOSET spigot: SOMEONE COME OVER spigot: THE DOOR'S UNLOCKED, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK TO ME, JUST DO THE THING AND PUT IT AWAY AND TEXT ME WHEN IT'S DONE

pants: PLEASE HELP ME PICK OUT A GOWN FOR THE COCKSUCKERS BALL

deuce: ALL THE DICKS YOU CAN STAND pants: BLURF deuce: OKAY MORE THAN YOU CAN STAND deuce: BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES pants: FLURP BLURP

spigot: THE FUCK IS A PRONOUN

deuce: MY PRONOUNS ARE (CAR HORN) AND (PURE 440 HZ SINE WAVE)

: o see the stars that shine above : sit with me and we'll hold hands : behold the glory that is nature : gonna fuck me a bullfrog : one of the big ones with goofy eyes : Jerkcity Big Book of Poetry : (2009 Ed.) pants: I CAN FINALLY CONCENTRATE ON PERSONAL MATTERS deuce: GOD BLESS JESUS : PANTS BEATS OFF deuce: WHO GAVE US THE ABILITY TO REACH OUR OWN DICKS

deuce: IF WE TOUCH DICKS WILL THERE BE AN ARC pants: ZZZZZZZZZZZZT deuce: PROOF POSITIVE

spigot: PROSPERO'S BALLS deuce: JUMPIN' JEHOSEPHAT spigot: GET OUT

pants: THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE atandt: WHAT NOW pants: I STRANGLED ANOTHER PROSTITUTE atandt: I AM NOT HEARING THIS pants: HALF OF HER IS IN THE TRUNK atandt: DID ANYONE SEE YOU pants: I THINK THE OTHER HALF ESCAPED pants: ANYWAY THE OIL DRUMS BEHIND THE HOUSE ARE ALL CRAMMED FULL pants: WILL YOU HELP ME PUT THE PROSTITUTE BACK TOGETHER pants: LET'S ATTACH HER TO THE MIGRANT WORKER WE BURIED atandt: 911 pants: HANG THAT PHONE UP AND I'LL LET YOU POKE HER CUNT WITH A PENCIL atandt: OKAY

spigot: WHY AREN'T WE PROTESTING THIS SHIT

spigot: I'LL BAKE CUPCAKES WITH FROSTING AND FLAGS TO PROTEST WHY BLACK PEOPLE HAVE TO SUCK DICK AT THE REAR OF THE STALL

pants: HOW ARE WE GOING TO LICK DICK ANONYMOUSLY NOW pants: HOW I ASK YOU pants: WE WANT THE STALL DOORS BACK !!!!!

pants: WE WANT THE DOORS TO REACH THE GROUND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: WE WANT THE DOORS TO HAVE LOCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: ALSO I NEED MY CALLS AND FAXES FORWARDED THERE

pants: REMOVE THE CAMERAS AND THE MOTION DETECTORS deuce: ALSO THE ANAL FISTING PROBE deuce: WHICH SEEMS HARDLY USEFUL BUT ANYWAY pants: YEAH THE ANAL FISTING PROBE pants: BRING IT BACK

pants: DICKS deuce: DICKS pants: DICKS deuce: COCKS [PROTOCOL VIOLATION]

pants: NO TWO MEMBERS DRESS ALIKE deuce: THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF JERKCITY pants: SYMBOLS OF TEENAGE REBELLION deuce: I'M WORRIED THAT I BLOW GOATS WHEN I'M ASLEEP pants: THIS MEANS WAR deuce: ZZZZZZZZZ GHLAGHLAGHAGHL ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ AGHLGHAGHAGHLAGHLG

spigot: CAN'T WE USE AI TO SUPERIMPOSE LIMBS AND LEGS ON THE PARALYMPIANS spigot: THEIR FINGERS AND HANDS COULD STAY EXACTLY THE SAME spigot: ADS THEN

spigot: I PREFER PROUD, DEFIANT JERKS spigot: THE KIND THAT SPURT UP AND SAY "HEY I'M GAY TODAY" spigot: "AND I MIGHT BE GAY TOMORROW AND THE DAY AFTER THAT" spigot: I APOLOGIZE spigot: I DON'T OWN ANY STEPHEN KING spigot: WELL I HOPE THESE JOKES ARE STILL FRESH spigot: AFTER ALL THE LIGHT YEARS THEY TRAVELLED TO GET HERE spigot: THESE SPACE JOKES

spigot: FOLKS A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO DICKS

spigot: I SEARCHED FOR PRUNES TO FAKE OUT AD SERVERS AND NOW I'M SEEING ADS FOR PRUNES AND I'M LIKE HA HA DON'T CARE MEANWHILE BANKRUPT PRUNE FARMERS ARE SMOTHERING THEIR CHILDREN AND HANGING THEMSELVES DUE TO MY PRUNE ABUSE

deuce: I'M COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET deuce: NOW I'M GOING BACK IN deuce: PSYCH

effigy: AT LEAST PLEASE KEEP YOUR AMMO SEPARATE FROM YOUR FIREARMS

deuce: IT TAKES TWO TO SUCK DICK deuce: ONE TO FORCE THE OTHER AND THE OTHER TO CALL THE COPS deuce: NOTE: SOME PEOPLE REFER TO IT AS "SUCKING COCK"

spigot: PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE AVCLUB TO POST THEIR REVIEW OF TONIGHT'S MILWAUKEE REPEATER CLUB PUBLIC SERVICE NET spigot: A- spigot: I AGREE THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN LONGER

spigot: CLASS POTATO : PUBLIC VEGETABLE spigot: POTATO(); ~POTATO(); spigot: PUBLIC: BOOLEAN IS_IT_A_BLACK_GIRL(VOID);

spigot: PUDDING AND POKERY deuce: WE WITCHES THREE WILL BHALBHLHB

deuce: HLGLHGAHLGAHLAGLHALHA spigot: DUH?!?! deuce: I THINK SO YES !!! NOT HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING spigot: DONGS??!??! EXHAUSTED REALLY QUITE HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TIRED spigot: COCTEAU TWINS?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

pants: I WEAR ADULT DIAPERS deuce: NOT BECAUSE YOU NEED TO, YOU JUST THINK THEY'RE FASHIONABLE pants: RIGHT pants: THEY REALLY MAKE MY DOCKERS LOOK PUFFY AROUND THE WAIST AREA

deuce: PUH FTH FEH deuce: I'M COMPLETELY COVERED IN PISS deuce: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

pants: HERE pants: TAKE MY TONGUE pants: PULL YOURSELF TO SAFETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD PULL MY PORK

pants: YOU MIGHT SAY I'M PULLING FOR MY TEAM spigot: LET'S JUST SAY I WENT TO THE BATHROOM IN THE MICROWAVE

spigot: T PANTS "PLZ" SOUNDS LIKE "PULLS" NOT "PLEASE" pants: MAYBE I CAN TRAIN IT TO USE THE TOILET atandt: PLZ STP FLSHNG pants: I WANT TO GET THE DICKS INTO MY MOUTH AS FAST AS POSSIBLE SO I SHORTEN THE WORD "PLEASE" spigot: T ATANDT LVL 2WO PLZ atandt: PLEASE GET OFF ME pants: I PRONOUNCE IT "PULZ" atandt: PLZ GT FF ME deuce: PLEASE USE VOWELS

pants: YOUR THREE DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO ME deuce: QUACK pants: SHUT UP pants: HURRRRRRRRRR pants: IF WE HAD SOME INSTRUMENTS WE ACTUALLY MIGHT BE GOOD

spigot: THE ONLY JAMS I'M PUMPING OUT ARE FROM THIS PLASTIC BOTTLE OF SMUCKER'S SQUEEZABLE STRAWBERRY spigot: PLPHLTPPHL spigot: PLPGLTH spigot: NOW I CAN BEAT OFF

pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume atandt: brothers and sisters pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pants pants

spigot: BURNING, BEHEADING pants: I NEED TO BE PUMPED SO FULL OF SPURT THAT I CANNOT SEE STRAIGHT pants: WRITE BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SIR THIS IS AN ENGINEERING/BAB5 NEWSGROUP

spigot: WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE COFFEE TASTE MORE LIKE PUMPKINS pants: >>>THE GREAT TASTE OF PUMPKINS<<<

spigot: I'M SPIGOT FROM JERKCITY!!! spigot: PUNCH DUH FORGET spigot: PUNCH DUH SIT

pants: PUNCH ME IN THE UNDERPANTS pants: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME J'S pants: I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME J'S pants: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ I AM JUST THAT GOOD pants: PUNCH ME IN THE UNDERPANTS

dick: LET'S PLAY HIDE AND GO RAPE deuce: LANGUAGE bung: HOW ABOUT HIDE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF

pants: DOES MY FACE LOOK PUNCHABLE deuce: DEPENDS pants: BE HONEST deuce: IF YOU MEAN DOES IT IMPLEMENT THE PUNCHABLE INTERFACE, THE ANSWER IS YES deuce: IF YOU MEAN DOES IT INVITE OR ENCOURAGE A PUNCH MORE THAN OTHER SUCH FACES, THE ANSWER IS NO pants: WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THAT deuce: T PANTS INCREASE THE PUNCHABILITY ATTRIBUTE deuce: OBJECT 'PANTS\' FACE' IMPLEMENTS PUNCHABLE {PUNCHABILITY: 100; }

deuce: ARE YOUR BALLS SHRINKING OR GROWING OR STAYING THE SAME SIZE pants: DURING THE WINTER THEY ARE LARGE (ENGORGED WITH PISS) BUT IN THE SUMMER THEY EXPAND SO LARGE THEY PULL THE EARTH THROUGH THE SOLAR SYSTEM deuce: AND THE CENTRAL PRESSURE IS HIGH ENOUGH TO BRIEFLY FUSE DEUTERIUM deuce: YOUR BALLS ARE A FAILED STAR deuce: WELL, TWO FAILED STARS pants: PUNCHING THEM

deuce: LET'S GO WHORE PUNCHING (A LITTLE KNOWN COMPANION TO THE ART OF COW TIPPING)

deuce: I SEEM TO HAVE TRIPPED ON MY DONG AGAIN deuce: I KIND OF WISH I HADN'T CUT IT OFF NOW deuce: (PUNCHLINE !!!)

pants: PUNT ME deuce: ROGER THAT,PUNTING YOU pants: AYE, BEING PUNTED deuce: AND THUS ENDSOUR SORDID PLAY pants: WE DONE GOOD HUH

spigot: RUNNING OUT OF COMEDY spigot: THE COMEDY TRAIN IS RUNNING OUT OF STEAM spigot: BUHHUHHUHUH OKAY PEOPLE I'M GAY AND BUHBUH PUPPET SHOW

pants: PURCHASE AUTHORIZED ON 02/02 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

pants: PISS TESTING RESULTS: ACTUAL URINE deuce: MY PISS TESTCAME BACK:PURE ESTROGEN

deuce: DON'T THINK JUST KISS ME pants: NOT IF YOU TAKE MONEY FROM GEORGE SOROS deuce: BUT ONLY A LITTLE pants: ALSO TAKE OFF YOUR HIJAB AND LET ME SEE YOUR PRETTY PRETTY OH GOD YOU'RE A MONSTER deuce: LOVE GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BE FREE pants: OH GOD TENACLES AND TOO MANY EYES AND A BEAK pants: WHY IS YOUR MOUTH A CUNT AND YOUR CUNT A CUNT pants: PURE TERROR pants: GOING INTO SHOCK : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED

pants: WHY IS YOUR MOUTH A CUNT AND YOUR CUNT A CUNT (OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD) pants: PURE TERROR