deuce: NO spigot: CAN I HAVE OPS FOR ONCE .(deuce): WITH GOD'S HELP WE CAN STOP GLOBAL WARMING

spigot: :DOOR: GLORK BLORP BLOP GLOP spigot: HE'S A GOOD EARNER

pants: THE BONERS ARE GLOWING pants: T DEUCE DID YOU LET THEM PLAY AROUND THE REACTOR CORE AGAIN deuce: NO deuce: WHY DO YOU ASK pants: I CAN'T SLEEP WITH THEM GLOWING LIKE THAT deuce: ARE THEY GLOWING OR MAKING NOISE pants: GLOWING AND BUZZING LIKE A FLORESCENT LIGHTBULB WOULD/DOES deuce: I SEE

deuce: IT WAS FROM THE BEFORE TIME, WHEN THE GLOWING COAL IN THE SKY STILL SHONE BRIGHTLY pants: WHEN DINOSAURS ROAMED MY BALLS

pants: I MISS CRAMMING MY MOUTH FULL OF GLYPHS AND QUEERS pants: MY HATRED FOR SUBURBIA STEMS FROM THE LACK OF PUBLIC TOILETS

spigot: TELL THEM ABOUT THE GOOD BOOK deuce: GLUG spigot: HI QUEERS, I'M JUST OUT SPREADING THE WORD OF GOD spigot: FOR EVERY DICK YOU CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE TO CHOKE DOWN spigot: THAT'S ONE STEP CLOSER TO NOT MAKING IT INTO THE KINGDOM spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE QUEER KINGDOM SOUTH OF FOLSOM

spigot: MORE WINE FOR ME I GUESS

deuce: GO BACK TO RUSSI deuce: A deuce: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA deuce: AAAAAAAAAAAA deuce: AAAAAAAAAAA deuce: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA deuce: HELP ME

pants: GO BACK TO RUSSIA spigot: TERRORIST spigot: oh, me, okay (closing door) spigot: sorry what spigot: thought you said something (closing door)

deuce: GO EASY WITH THAT HAMMER YOU'RE GETTING CHIPS OF CUNT IN MY SALAD

spigot: AND BY "FAT" WE ALSO MEAN "DUMB" spigot: I'M AFRAID THAT BEATS MY FIDDLE FOOPER FOP AND MY HURGLY BING BONG spigot: QUEERS AREN'T HUMAN THEY'RE QUEER COCKSUCKERS

atandt: OH deuce: GO FUCK YOURSELF atandt: OK atandt: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

pants: `NOTE: UNNECESSARY USE OF -X OR --REQUEST, POST IS ALREADY INFERRED.` pants: WHY INFER WHEN YOU CAN IMPLY (SWISHY WRIST GLUGGING GIN) deuce: THAT'S BETTER THAN WE CHANGED THE WAY YOU SPECIFY OPTIONS COMPLETELY, GO FUCK YOURSELF USER

spigot: ATDT spigot: OKAY I'M CONNECTED HERE deuce: COCKS

pants: I AM PRIMED AND READY FOR GAYNESS deuce: EVERY STATION PLEASE GIVE ME A GO/NO GO FOR GAYNESS pants: GAYNESS LIGHT ON CHECK

deuce: BECAUSE PRICKS pants: DID YOU MEAN _FELLMONGER_

pants: THREATENING, HATEFUL, VIOLENT, PORNOGRAPHIC, SEXUAL, INCITING OF VIOLENCE deuce: GO TO BED pants: JUST GOT UP deuce: I SAID pants: OKAY BUT I’M WARNING YOU (DRIFTS OFF TO SLEEP)

spigot: I HAVE A MODEM pants: GO VOICE

pants: DUHHH MOOSE IS JUGHEAD'S GIRLFRIEND DUHHHHHH

spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP DURING JAG spigot: I MEAN FRIENDS pants: COULD YOU PLEASE TRY NOT TO EMBARASS ME IN FRONT OF MY ROCKY HORROR FRIENDS JUST THIS ONCE spigot: WEARING TIGHTS IS PART OF THE FUN (ALSO THROWING RICE AND FILKING) SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO WAIT IN THE TARDIS

deuce: I'M JACKING IN !!!!!!!!! deuce: ALSO JACKING OFF pants: I KNOW AND I AM HERE FOR YOU

net: I'M FROM PAKISTAN deuce: I'M NOT FOND OF YOU EITHER net: THAT WILL COST YOU TWO GOATS deuce: BAAAA net: I ONLY COUNT ONE deuce: THEY WERE DOING IT AT THE SAME TIME net: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOUDER THEN net: OR SILENCE (GOATS OUT OF PHASE) deuce: IT DOESN'T GET LOUDER THAN UPPERCASE BAAAAA net: THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME deuce: I HAVE HAD A SEIZURE net: I THINK I WIN THEN

spigot: SITTING AT THE BUS STOP CALCULATING HOW TO DIVIDE $5.00 IN QUARTERS BETWEEN PORNO BOOTHS & SNICKERS deuce: HOLY CHRISTABLES spigot: ONLY GOD AND THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE KNOW WHAT I'M BEATING OFF TO deuce: ALSO THOSE CIA SPY SATELLITES

spigot: TITS -AND- GTFO

spigot: **SOB** THE POOR OVERWORKED CHILDREN OF OTHER NATIONS spigot: FUCK YOU spigot: GO SHIT YOURSELVES

deuce: WHAT DID YOU GET ME FOR CHRISTMAS??? pants: DEAD HOOKER PARTS deuce: AHEM THESE PARTS ARE ALSO USED pants: JIZZY BUT SERVICEABLE

deuce: WHY DID GOD INVENT SUCH A GODFORSAKEN HOUR OF THE MORNING pants: THERE IS NO GOD pants: ONLY KITTY pants: PRAISE HIM

pants: OH CRAP spigot: WHAT IN THE spigot: SON OF A pants: GOD HELP US spigot: ASSORTED EXCLAIMABLES

deuce: GOD IS REAL deuce: SORRY WAIT deuce: GOD IS REAL-ISH

pants: GOD LOVES SWIFT JUSTICEDONE TO UNLICKED DICKS deuce: CIRCUMCISIONSALL AROUND

spigot: GOD MADE THIS DAY FOR ME AND I'M GOING TO SUCK DICK

deuce: I THINK I BROKE MY DICK pants: GOD NO

deuce: I WAS WHACKING OFF AND THEN SUDDENLY THIS SPURTY WHITE VISCOUS LIQUID CAME SPRAYING OUT ALL OVER THE TELEVISION SET THE CATS AND MY FACE deuce: IT'S THE STRANGEST THING IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME pants: GIVE IT TO ME

pants: a mild case of the duh deuce: a serious case of the fuhhhhhhhhh deuce: a severe case of ruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh deuce: a critical case of AIDS pants: god rest his soul

pants: GOD TOLD ME NOT TO TELL OTHERS I CAN HEAR HIM deuce: IF HE WAS THE REAL GOD HE WOULD BE PROUD OF IT pants: I MADE SURE IT WAS HIM !!! I'[M ALL LIKE DO THE WATER INTO PISS TRICK AND HE'S ALL OKAY AND THEN SUDDENLY PISS deuce: YEAH OKAY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEFER TO THE JUDGES ON THAT ONE pants: PFTRPFTFPTPFPT HE IS MY GOD

pants: CAN WE LICK IT BUT NOT PRICK IT AND THEREFORE CAUSE IT TO EXPLODE deuce: I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THE RISK OF ICKING ANYTHING pants: T DEUCE THE DICK PIT OPENS IN NINE MINUTES : Away From Keyboard [X] : Close : Away message: : ALL DEAD HERE : [ OK ] [ Cancel ] : PANTS TAPS HIS WATCH deuce: I SEE

pants: IT'S A MIRACLE MY MOUTH IS SO WIDE

pants: HEAVENLY PEACE deuce: RAPE IN GOD'S NAME

spigot: IS IT WRONG TO ORDER A MORNING PIZZA WHEN YOU STILL HAVE SOME OF YOUR EVENING PIZZA pants: THEY CAN BE FRIENDS pants: (SPEAKING TO MY BONER) YOU ARE GOD'S PRECIOUS SON AND I LOVE YOU spigot: WHERE ARE WE ON THE SUBJECT OF EARLY-TO-LATE MID-MORNING, EARLY AFTERNOON / MID-AFTERNOON / LATE-AFTERNOON, EARLY-EVENING / EVENING / LATE-EVENING PRE-DARK PIZZAS BEFORE PULLING THE TRIGGER ON A FULL-BLOWN NIGHT PIZZA pants: WHAT ABOUT THE DUSK PIZZA, THE BLUE HOUR PIZZA

pants: ANY PORT IN A STORM IS WHAT THE MAN SAID deuce: IS THIS GOD'S PUNISHMENT

deuce: LICKING AND BEING PUNCHED pants: THAT MUST BE GOD'S WAY OF SAYING BAKE MORE TUBE COOKIES

deuce: GODDAMN HICCUPS spigot: THEY ARE CALLED BLACK PEOPLE deuce: I THINK YOU ARE CONFUSING THEM WITH WOPS pokey: YES!!!!-------

deuce: GUH spigot: VERY CONCERNED

effigy: Restrictions: Godzilla shall not speak any human language effigy: Godzilla shall not be killed effigy: Godzilla's use shall not be derogatory to its image spigot: can we ban capeshit on this sub

pants: SO pants: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO CELEBRATE EL NINO pants: I'LL BE LICKING

pants: MAGIC PEOPLE AT UNICORN PRECINCT THIS SATURDA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} THE SYSTEM IS GOING DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE ***IMMEDIATELY*** LOGOUT NOW

spigot: ON THE TITANIC THERE WOULD ONLY BE ENOUGH STALLS FOR HALF OF US

deuce: do you think we'll ever reach the coast pants: I'm starting to think our covered wagon train is going in circles

spigot: I'M GOING NEXT DOOR TO FAGGO'S PIZZA AND GET SOME JERKSAUCE

spigot: WE NEED MORE AEROSOL FOODS AND WE NEED THEM AIMED AT MY MOUTH spigot: CAN WE GET A ROUND TABLE GOING ON THIS

spigot: MY PAC-MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC-MAN AIDS

spigot: GOING OUTSIDE IS FOR FAGS spigot: WHEN WILL NEWS STORIES ABOUT SCHOOL SHOOTINGS EXAMINE HOW MANY VICTIMS REALLY REALLY DESERVED IT spigot: WHO DARES ME TO DO LINES AND BEAT OFF ALL DAY spigot: THEY'LL BE LINES FROM SHAKESPEARE

spigot: ONE MORE POPPYSEED BAGEL AND I'M GOING TO BURST spigot: OKAY TWO MORE pants: SUCKING PIRATE DICK pants: YO HO HO spigot: FIRST I BEAT OFF, THEN I BEAT MY WIFE

spigot: DOES GOING TO THE BATHROOM COUNT AS EXERCISE

spigot: going to the bathroom on children will make america great again

deuce: I'm a fat fuck(tm) pants: do you also get tired performing simple tasks deuce: carrying slightly heavy things for a few minutes makes my shoulders, arms, and chest hurt and I want to die pants: you know what the worst thing in the world is????? going up stairs

deuce: CONFIRMING YOUR REGISTRATION... pants: CONFIRMING YOUR REGISTRATION (REPEATING WHAT YOU SAID, SMOOSHED UP FACE, HIGH VOICE, CONSENSUS: YOU ARE BEING MOCKED) deuce: ALTERNATE POSSIBILITY: SPEAKER IS SEVERELY RETARDED deuce: GOING WITH PRIMARY HYPOTHESIS

deuce: PISS / CRYSTALS pants: (TO THE TUNE OFTHE THEME TOGOLDFINGER) deuce: OR "MOON RIVER" pants: OOH I LIKE THAT(SUCKING MY OWN DICK) deuce: BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH pants: BWAAAH deuce: BROOOOOOOOOONG pants: (PINCHES BRIDGE OF NOSE) CAN WE PLEASE NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SEX WORKERS

spigot: ATTENTION ***LADIES*** spigot: YOU DON'T HAVE TO STUFF A SOCK IN YOUR BIKINI BOTTOM TO GET MY ATTENTION spigot: AT LEAST PUT THE SOCK IN FRONT

pants: I AM LIKE THE GOLDEN AGE SANDMAN IN THAT I WILL DRUG YOU BUT INSTEAD OF CREEPING AROUND AND JUSTIFYING MY FREAKY FETISH BY FIGHTING CRIME NOW AND THEN I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK, TAKE YOUR WALLET AND BLAME SOCIETY !!! NOW DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT I PUT IN YOUR DRINK

effigy: WHEN IS SOMEBODY GOING TO REBOOT GOLDEN GIRLS??? pants: EXCEPT WITH MEN pants: AND THEY’RE NOT OLD pants: AND THEY’RE DOIN’ IT

deuce: MAX HARDCORE'S GOLDEN GUZZLERS spigot: AVAILABLE AT IHOP ??????

pants: NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT YOUR GOLF CLUB spigot: HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY DAWKINS IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR KRAUSS deuce: KRAUSS TASTES LIKE DIRT deuce: WAIT I'M THINKING OF BRAZIL NUTS

deuce: it's more of a pencil dick pants: one of those little golf pencils, not a no 2 deuce: you will address me as sir pants: i thought you transitioned deuce: I did but that doesn't mean I wasn't knighted

spigot: WEIRD AL IS ***BACK***!!!!!!!!!! spigot: OKAY HE'S GONE AGAIN

pants: THE LITTLE TIVO GUY IN THE UPPER LEFT HAND CORNER OF THE SCREEN IS DRUNK (HE'S WOBBLING MORE THAN USUAL FOR A THURSDAY)

pants: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT pants: CAN'T WE TAKE A DAY OFF ?!? pants: UP YOURS FAGGOT

pants: HAVING MISTAKEN ALL AROUND HIM FOR A COFFEE SHOP HE TRIES TO ORDER THE BIGGEST FAGGIEST PINKEST DRINK POSSIBLE AND SUCCEEDS BEYOND HIS WILDEST DREAMS

spigot: I LIKE THE BONG BUT I PREFER THE PIPE

pants: DB<3> X $DATAGRAM pants: 0 'GAYNESS PERSONIFIED' pants: WELP THE DEBUGGER IS GOOD AND GAY NOW (AND HOW)

spigot: I CALL THEM "GOOD ATTITUDE SEEDS" AND YOU WATER THEM WITH EDUCATION!!!!!!

deuce: SPLURP deuce: GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR/MADAME

spigot: PUTIN'S PEACEKEEPING TANKS spigot: THESE TWO COUNTRIES SHOULD MERGE ANYWAY SO THERE'S A SINGLE SOURCE OF PROSTITUTES (GOOD FOR CONSUMERS) pants: WHY ARE THEIR FACES WEIRD OR OFF UNCANNY VALLEY-STYLE spigot: WE ARE DEAD INSIDE LIKE ROBOT spigot: THEY PRONOUNCE IT ROBUT spigot: WE HAVE MATTRESS AND CAM

pants: GOOD GOD WATCH ME LICK DICK pants: NO CARRIER

deuce: BEAT ME OFF pants: RELEASE THE HOSTAGES FIRST deuce: NO PROMISES

spigot: yes, good hello i would like to report a coronavirus symptom spigot: there's a tingling sensation in my erectioNNNNNNNnnnn spigot: >>> ejaculates <<< spigot: ha ha you do phone sex spigot: clonk / ba-donk

spigot: GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!! spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING clark: HUG-AH-LUG-AH spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING deuce: KYS spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: GOOD MORNING spigot: SHOW BOBS AND VAGENE

spigot: ATHERTON RESIDENT, MASTURBATOR pants: GOD'S BUTTHOLE effigy: WELL GOOD MORNING ALL deuce: IT'S A MIGHTY FINE DAY FOR US TO FIGHT INFLATION deuce: WITH OUR FISTS

deuce: I GOTTA SHIT

pants: DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS GOOD MORNING DICKS DICKS DICKS

deuce: I THINK IT'S TIME FOR BED pants: GOOD NIGHT FATNUTS spigot: GOOD NIGHT SHITBAG atandt: GOOD NIGHT FUCKFACE net: GOOD NIGHT GAY VITO caveman: UGGGGGH ozone: GOOD NIGHT YOU WEAK SISTER dick: GOOD NIGHT BITCHTITS effigy: GOOD NIGHT YOU BIG FUCKING IDIOT lobster: GOOD NIGHT HEATHEN bung: GOOD NIGHT BABY LOVE U deuce: FUCK ALL OF YOU

pants: I'M GOING TO BED pants: WAKE ME UP WHEN THE PROSTITUTES GET HERE deuce: THEN THAT WOULD TECHNICALLY QUALIFY AS A NAP pants: JUST WAKE ME IN TIME OTHERWISE YOU'RE MY PROSTITUTE deuce: ROGER THAT

deuce: COCKS pants: COCKS INDEED !!!!!! GOOD SIR I APPLAUD YOUR SUPPORT deuce: HANDLE ME pants: MANHANDLE OR JUST REGULAR HANDLE deuce: JUST GET DOWN ON IT

pants: CHOOO CHOOOOOOO HUGALUGALUGAHUG CHOOOOOOOO HLAGHLUHLAUHGLUAHGLAG CHOOOO CHOOOOO

deuce: CAN WE JUST AGREE THAT MY MOUTH IS A RECEPTACLE AND _NOT_ A TOILET pants: EITHER WAY TAMPONS DON'T GO IN THERE pants: YOU CAN'T FLUSH THOSE GODDAMN THINGS pants: OR CAN YOU???????????????????????????????????????? pants: NO

spigot: IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME!! WHIRRRRR ***FLOOOSOOOOSHH*** OH GOD pants: RING RING RING RING BEEEEEEP DID YOU GET THE URINE CLICK

deuce: T PANTS I'M GOING TO POKE YOU WITH MY DICK deuce: T PANTS AND WHEN YOU DON'T RESPONSE I'M GOING TO POKE YOU AGAIN deuce: T PANTS EVENTUALLY I WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU'RE DEAD AND MOVE ON (AFTER A GOODBYE POKE) pants: T DEUCE THEN BRING YOUR FRIENDS INTO THE WOODS TO SEE MY BODY AND POKE ME WITH THEIR DICKS deuce: T PANTS HEY WHATEVER I DON'T PLAN THAT FAR AHEAD

spigot: SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE IT WAS REAL FUN HANGING OUT BUT OBVIOUSLY I DON'T BELONG HERE spigot: LEAVING NOW spigot: SERIOUSLY PRACTICALLY ALL THE WAY OUT THE DOOR spigot: PUTTING ON MY JACKET FOR REAL spigot: HI GANG I'M SOME OTHER GUY NAMED SPIGOT (NOT THE SAME GUY FROM BEFORE)

spigot: TRYING TO ADMIRE MY OWN HARDON spigot: NOTE: COACH AND WINGS ARE CHANGING PLACES THIS WEDNESDAY (spigot): GOODNIGHT FAT BALLS

pants: GOODNIGHT MOUTH pants: PUTTING YOU TO REST FOR AN HOUR SO YOU DO NOT OVERHEAT ON ME AGAIN pants: JUST pants: THAT pants: GAY

deuce: GOOGLE SEARCH WILL BE DECOMMISSIONED AS OF AUGUST, 2016 pants: FINALLY

bung: NO CLEAR RESULTS FROM GOOGLE ON "SMOOTH BUDDY"

spigot: IF I HAD BUT ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF spigot: IT WOULD BE GOONING SMALL DICK PENIS PUMPER deuce: FUCKO spigot: NO, IT WOULD BE WHAT I SAID deuce: THAT'S SHORT FOR WHAT YOU SAID

spigot: I'M THE FRUITLESS SUPER-GENE

pants: I'M A GOOSENECK LAMP pants: EVER HOLD THE SMOKE IN FOR SO LONG THAT YOU EXHALE NOTHING ?????? WRITE BACK deuce: ALSO HOW DO YOU EXPOSE YOURSELF WHILE DRIVING deuce: THAT SOUNDS HARD pants: YOU NEED A TALL WANG

pants: "I WONDER WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT S3E8" AND THEN BOOOOOOM I AM A MAN TODAY spigot: WELL PERHAPS A DAY WILL COME WHEN WE (((UNPACK))) WHAT WE WATCHED spigot: MEANWHILE: SILENT pants: IT'S STILL TOO MUCH LIKE WALKING IN ON MOM AND DAD DOIN' IT, CAN'T DISCUSS pants: OR DAD AND OTHER DAD spigot: Y pants: DAD AND ALL HIS FRIENDS FROM THE GYM pants: AND MOM'S ON THE PORCH AND SHE'S SIPPING ICED TEA CRYING SILENT TEARS pants: AND spigot: PRESSING PLAY AND RECORD

pants: MAKE LOVE TO THE DUCK ozone: OH YEAH deuce: OW OW OW deuce: OH YOU MEAN **TO** THE DUCK deuce: GOT IT deuce: OW OW OW